A man and a woman like each other and they take their clothes off and. Mac: What is sex? Valerie: Sex? You know, making love. Are you like coming on to me? Is this a pass? Because, I mean, if it is, sex is like totally out of the question. Wiploc: Finland is here? Valerie: Finland? No, this is the Valley. Candy: Don't get your panties in a bunch! We're with three major cute guys and it's Saturday night! Come on! We can't go out with these guys, they're aliens! Candy: So? They can still be dates! Do you guys have margaritas on your planet? Valerie: Candy, it's just not safe. Just chill out, Val.Ĭandy: Okay you guys, what's the plan for tonight? Valerie: Whoa, Candy, reality check. Ted's not going to be there for a few hours. Valerie: Ted is coming home tonight and there's a UFO in my pool. Candy: Valerie! Valerie: I mean it, don't freak out. Valerie: Candy, whatever you do, don't freak out. Okay? Candy: Well, in that case, let me get a cigarette. Valerie: Okay, I'm going to show you something that's going to totally change your life, completely, forever. Mel Gibson, maybe, but not Ted! Valerie, come here, just sit down, honey, relax, have a mental margarita, and everything is. Candy: Would you listen to yourself? Valerie, no man is worth getting yourself in this state over. Owner of Beauty Shop: What did you say? Valerie: Oh, nothing. It's where I learned how to surf.ĭialogue Valerie: A UFO landed in my pool and they captured me but we made friends and I fed them Pop-Tarts and, um, they're here now, but Ted's coming home tonight so you've got to cut their hair. These degenerates broke into my home and destroyed my property.You guys are so lucky you crashed in the valley.Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children. I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can.Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think, I talk like a baby, And I never pay for drinks, Don't have to worry, About getting a man, If I keep this blonde, And I keep these tanned, 'Cause I'm a blonde, Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'Cause I'm a blonde, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see people working, It just makes me giggle, 'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle, 'Cause I'm blonde.You can break it, and you can glue it back together, but it's not going to be as strong as it was unless the person is really committed to not bringing home nurses! A relationship is a lot like a porcelain nail, Ted.If meaningless sex is what you want, why can't you have it with me?!.As if things weren't bad enough, now I've been abducted by aliens.You know, she got like her boobs done and I never told anyone. I mean, I'm the kind of person that you could tell anything to and I'd never tell. I don't know about anything about anything, except nails.
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